Big Brothers
by AngelMouse5
Summary: JOHN Fic - Short fic about John after a particularly harrowing rescue takes it's toll on him, until someone comes along and has a chat...


_Disclaimer: Gerry Anderson owns them, I just borrow them. This is a little quick fic I thought of the other day while bored at work. Please enjoy. Oh, and you'll noticed I've changed my nic…thought it was about time! : Angel Mouse, March 2004_

**Big Brothers   
by Angel Mouse**

A cool breeze ruffled his almost white blonde hair as he sat on the edge of a cliff over looking water as he stared up at the stars. Sitting next to him was a powerful telescope, one which he looked at the stars with when he was home. It was a dark night but perfectly clear the type of clear night when you could see forever as the moon was full and the sky cloud free. A perfectly still night. A beautiful night for contemplating the stars and life. John gave a tiny sigh, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. He had been unable to sleep and so after a few hours of tossing and turning he had given up and sneaking out of the house; he made his way to his favourite spot on the island. A ledge on the side of the mountain where the hidden headquarters of International Rescue were. And therein lay his problem of not sleeping and one that had compelled him to seek solace in the stars this night. 

It had all started out as a fairly normal day. John had returned a week ago from his tour on the space station and had been enjoying a quiet family breakfast with all his brothers, something he sometimes didn't get to do when he was home. Gordon had been joking softly with Virgil while Scott had been discussing some plans to test fly some new jet Tracey Industries was developing when Alan had called. There was a rather large Oil Refinery fire in America that they had been called to attend. Three men were trapped in a below ground control room but the fire's were so hot and unable to be doused for hours that the situation to rescue the men had been dire. Jeff had no hesitation sending all four of them out. Scott had arrived soon on the scene and had quickly assessed the situation. When the others had finally arrived Scott had directed Virgil to take the FireFly and help clear debris and put out the fire. He would help with that. The more difficult aspect of the rescue - taking The Mole underground and rescuing the trapped men, he gave that to John and Gordon. So, they had gone in, confidant and in control as usual. Virgil and Scott were going great guns with the FireFly and they had no idea what was about to befall them. 

John swallowed the memories extremely fresh in his mind, pushing back the bile he felt rising at the back of his throat. Scott and Virgil's side of the rescue had gone smoothly, his and Gordon's hadn't. They had arrived at the location given to them by the refinery managers and what they had found had pushed their training to the limit. Gordon had lost it straight away, retching in the corner at the sight before them. John managed to keep his lunch down, but only by a supreme effort of will. After the men had called for help, the fire door had failed and the fire had gotten into control room. It had quickly burnt out due to the lack of oxygen available, but the damage was done. The three-trapped men had been burnt to death unfortunately. Their charred forms were almost unrecognisable. Swallowing hard, John helped Gordon back into The Mole's cockpit and went over to a rarely used compartment. He opened it and got out three body bags.   
"You stay here Gordon, I'll take care of it." Gordon nodded, pale and wan.   
"I'll call Scott and let him know." John put his hand on Gordon's shoulder and then went about his grizzly task. It wasn't a pleasant ride back to the surface, and when they reached the surface, the atmosphere was sombre and quiet. Scott had helped John unload the bodies and the coroner took them away. John made his report to the fire chief in soft tones, explaining the situation as he had found it. The fire chief had thanked them and re-iterated what they had surmised - the fire was just too strong and too hot. The fire door had just given out. It was an unfortunate accident and no one was to blame. Virgil had taken Gordon back into Thunderbird two to calm him down and make sure he was okay. Scott had stayed by John's side the entire debriefing and when they had finished, Scott had insisted John return with him in Thunderbird one. When they had returned to the island, they had briefed their father on what had happened. He had nodded in understanding and also said as well, it was no one's fault, just pure bad luck. He had sent them to bed after a late supper. Gordon had accepted the offer of something to help him sleep, but John hadn't. 

Suddenly John was aware that he wasn't alone. He looked up and saw Scott standing next to him. Scott smiled down at him and sat down next to him.   
"Thought I'd find you here."   
"You know me too well Scott." Scott smiled gently at him and looked him in the eye.   
"So, are you going to talk about it or do I have to drag it out of you? You know it wasn't your fault, right?" John sighed. Scott was in older brother mode and wouldn't be dissuaded. The silence stretched for a moment and then he gave up. Besides, he needed to speak about this.   
"Yes I do Scott. But it's just the thought that these men were depending on us, and we didn't get there in time."   
"I've talked to the coroner since we got home. They've managed to establish those men were dead before we even arrived on the scene. Nothing could have saved those men."   
"I know Scott. But I can't help feeling we've failed."   
"I know. So do I. But it's something else, isn't it John." Scott knew him too well. Sometimes it was like his oldest brother was a mind reader or something. John sighed and stared at the stars, they gave him comfort when he was feeling upset or concerned or worried about something. He felt Scott's hand on his shoulder and he looked over to his brother's eyes. Scott's blue ones were full of love and concern. He just waited for John to speak, knowing that his brother would, eventually. Unlike the others, John liked to marshal his thoughts, take his time getting what he was thinking and feeling into the right words. After a few moments John looked away again and then spoke softly.   
"I know I didn't fail today Scott. But I do feel like I have failed you. And everyone else. I'm just not very good at this; I don't feel that I pull my wait around. Alan has way more experience at these types of rescues than I do. I feel like a fifth wheel around here sometimes," Suddenly a flash of John's somewhat ironic humour came through, "which, considering there's five of us, is really kind of ironic." Scott looked at him a few minutes, trying to understand what his brother was saying.   
"Let me get this straight, you don't feel that your pulling your weight enough, is that right?"   
"Yep, in a nutshell. I'm just not very good at this." Scott sighed, knowing that it was finally John's turn for doubts. Each of his brothers at one time or another had voiced doubts about their abilities in the rescue business, and each and every time he had talked them through it until they had resolved their issues.   
"John, you do more than any of us in some respects."   
"What do you mean?" John looked at Scott curiously. Scott smiled back and him and then looked out over the ocean.   
"Think about it for a minute John. You speak umpteen languages. You've got a couple of degrees under your belt; you're a well-known and well-respected published author. You have the sweetest nature and care so much about the rest of the family. You're always there when one of us is feeling down, or confused or just want's to talk. You're the quietest person in a family full of show-offs," here they shared a wicked grin, " and plus, your John. You never pretend to be something your not. And that's what I love most about you John, your always there when we need you. You never ask anything for yourself, it's always us first, and I know that I don't have to even think about it, your there for me. So, don't tell me you don't pull your weight around here." John mulled over Scott's words for a few minutes, turning them over in his mind and thinking about it. After a few minutes he managed a sheepish smile and looked up at Scott, who was watching him with a knowing smile on his face.   
"How did you know?" Scott gave a tiny laugh.   
"I've been through this with the other guys, plus John, I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. You just need to trust yourself a little more, that's all." John nodded, suddenly feeling very tired.   
"Thank you Scott." Scott grinned.   
"Ready to get some sleep now?" Scott clambered to his feet and held out his hand for John to grab it. John grabbed it and let Scott help him to his feet. He was very tired all of a sudden. John didn't let go of Scott's hand and looked him in the eye.   
"Thank you Scott. For everything." Scott smiled as he slung his arm around John's shoulder and they began walking back down to the house.   
"Hey, what are big brothers for." 

The End. 


End file.
